Friday, October 18, 2013

Humbled

I'm continuously humbled by the outpouring of love from everyone in our lives. People we barely know, close friends, co-workers, relatives, strangers.

It's an incredible feeling.
Incredible fails to describe it.

I am so humbled.
We are so blessed.

Thank you to everyone for your support; you are loved.

Heather

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

It Continues

Hopeless may be too severe
As would optimistic.

Devastation seems dramatic
So does Euphoria.

Once again, I feel caught in the inbetween.
Stuck.
waiting.
impatient.

I anticipated this feeling would happen even while in the adoption process; I did not imagine it being as intense as the infertility process.

It continues.
It remains.
It subtly steals joy from simple moments.

It endorses anxiety, nervousness, doubt.

Despite support, it seems a lifetime away...adoption.

Heather

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Unexpected

I had a quiet moment today, that I have not experienced in awhile.
While doing blood work at the hospital, I saw a young couple.
Eager, excited, hopeful...on there way to a sonogram.

In that moment, it was completely mind blowing to me.
What that must feel like.
What that experience must be like.
Something I may not ever experience.

It hit me so quickly.
It was so unexpected.
I felt disoriented.

It is moments like these...quiet moments...unexpected moments...moments when I am alone...that I suddenly feel overwhelmed.

I am blessed, and I know this.
I cannot even comprehend how blessed I am.

However, moments like this still exist.

Heather.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Impatient

I read this quote the other day and am trying to keep it in mind:

"You can't rush something you want to last"

I'm once again humbled by the outpouring of help and support. 

Attempting to be patient...

Heather

Friday, October 4, 2013

Not every day is sunshine and berries.

I honestly don't mean to be impatient, but I am.
I can feel the weight of waiting.
It's heavy.
At times, it feels suffocating.

I'm not trying to get upset.
I'm attempting optimism.
It's frustrating to pay someone thousands of dollars so that they can judge you.
I know there will be a miracle at the end of this, and it's worth it, and it will be unbelievable ....

Wouldn't it just be easier to have the ability to get pregnant ?

My own wreck-less thoughts are taking over my usual optimism today.

- Heather